An Antidote To Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is a challenge, but it doesn't have to define you. Here's how you can break free.

It is without surprise nor extraordinary guile that we can observe a rise in social anxiety over the last 2 decades.

A plethora of frequency studies have shown this, yet we still cannot make any assumptions. This correlation does not explicitly indicate a rise in SAD due to any particular factor, and we are left with educated guesses and theories at best. Is it technology? Is it social media? Is it merely the increased awareness causing more people to receive a diagnosis? Or even better, is it a common misdiagnosis due to the rise of new problems people face as a result of the direction our society is heading towards? In a way, it is very likely that it is all of those factors together.

Your guess is as good as mine.

The pattern within the symptoms of social anxiety, which have been repeatedly and formally observed over the past century or so, is the only crumb of certainty we’ve been left with in this study. The observations from patient to patient have allowed us to then pinpoint similarities in their behaviour, and make one of a many helpful conclusion: a low perception of control maintains social anxiety.

This study highlights how perceptions and paradigms shape a SAD-like behaviour to social situations, as the emergence of social anxiety often relies upon the presence of negatively biased thought processes and rigid mental frameworks. How do we rid ourselves of these?

We must then understand our perceptions and paradigms, and their role in the culmination of the socially anxious attitude.

The Relationship Between Perception & Paradigm

It is good practice to precisely define what is meant with both terms before delving into their interconnection

Perception: the neurophysiological processes, including memory, by which an organism becomes aware of and interprets external stimuli Paradigms: a typical example or pattern of something; a pattern or model.

It starts with perception, which is grounded in biology but shaped by experience and context.

It then evolves to form paradigms, which are the models we use to organize and interpret new experiences. Paradigms are the result of patterns in perceptions.

A simplistic example may be the following:

1. Perception: A child notices that when they share, others smile and respond warmly.

2. Pattern Recognition: Over time, they repeatedly see kindness reciprocated when they act generously.

3. Paradigm Formation: They develop a belief (paradigm) that "People are generally kind."
   

But it’s not that simple, because paradigms can also feed into perception itself:

1. Paradigm-Driven Perception: Now, the child expects kindness and focuses on behaviours that confirm their belief, reinforcing their perception.

2. Loop Continues: This strengthened paradigm influences how they interpret future interactions, leading to even more positive perceptions.
   

So perception builds paradigms and paradigms feed into perception; perceptions initiate the cycle, and once a paradigm is established, it starts shaping future perceptions. The relationship between the two, can then be described as a positive feedback loop.

Why is this important?

Because the loop can just as easily place emphasis on unproductive, destructive and/or surrealistic beliefs, as it can healthy ones; if there are even healthy ones— is anything biased and hence consistently skewed from the objective truth “healthy”? That’s a moral rabbit hole for another blog.

All this was to show how social anxiety may originate; through socially traumatic moments, negatively affecting perception and paradigms. It illustrates that, quite frankly, it could take just 1 singular bad day for an unstable character (like the one of a child perhaps) to unconsciously formulate these blueprints for social anxiety.

And with some luck, through its origin, we can synthesize an antidote.

Break The Loop

Providing a slightly better understanding, I now wish to propose a solution to the matter with the use of philosophy—stoicism in particular.

If social anxiety is a developed condition (partially) as the consequence of a series of unfortunate perceptions such as “when I talk people are uninterested” or paradigms like “I don’t have anything good to say”, is it not possible to rewire our thought processes in a more favourable manner by replacing these biases with other ones? Or even better, the lack thereof.

“A theory or attitude that acts as a guiding principle for behaviour.” This definition of philosophy is not extensively satisfying to me and so I suggest a slight modification; “a theory or attitude that acts as a guiding principle for thought and behaviour.”

This definition now allows me to express the solution in simple terms: A philosophy not compatible with the negative perceptions and paradigms of social anxiety, will not allow you to develop and/or reinforce social anxiety, given that your thought and behaviour is successfully a function of your philosophy.

Simple. Not easy.

I previously mentioned stoicism as it seemed like the logical counterpart to the negative framework required for SAD, due to its essential function of shifting your focus from the uncontrollable to the influenceable. Unpredictability becomes an accepted reality of the arbitrariness of existence, but not a limiting factor.

So What Should You Do?

I wish to close off this analysis by sharing an recent anecdote which in part inspired me to write on this. A friend of mine often tells me that he experiences social anxiety and it’s symptoms fairly frequently, as a result of his perceptions and paradigms. Not so long ago, I gave him a book to read after finishing the one he was focused on at the time, without telling him explicitly what the book was about or about what I’m talking about in this blog. Yesterday he messaged me, saying that he had begun reading it and was thrilled to find that a lot of his problems were going to be “solved” in this book.

The book was about stoicism.

I don’t mean to impose a definite and infallible solution to every single social anxiety case, (given the impossible nature of such a feat) but to soulfully draw attention to an anchor that might have otherwise remained undiscovered by many, with the hope that with a persistent and wilful effort, the tide will not sink the fragile boat that is our Being.

It is now up to you—to at least try—to not let the unpredictable wrath of the sea tip you over. I have faith.

Be extraordinary.