How To Be Happy

What if I told you that you could always be happy?

What if I told you that happiness was more than a simple emotion?

What if I told you that happiness is a compound, made from various elements in your life, carefully and methodically mixed together?

Today you will learn the recipe to make this compound.

What causes us to be unhappy?

I believe it logical to start this blog by posing the most important question of all. What causes us to be unhappy? What is the universal & unchanging reason that stops us from being happy?

To answer this question I invite you to observe the behaviour of children as they grow. They go from basic input and output functions (I am hungry, hence I cry) into more developed and complex strings of thought. What changes, is that in between the input and the output there is a now an extra step, a separation of some sort.

You can really observe this ‘gap’ as children begin puberty and become more aware; they’ll care more about how they present themselves, what they do, and most importantly why they do things. They start questioning and become more curious to get a better sense of it all.

It’s no longer “I am hungry, hence I cry,” but it is now “I am hungry, but I am not sure if I want to eat this particular food because of this and that. Are my friends eating this food?” and countless more uncertainties that can now be deployed at any little decision. It may not be done actively, but it does happen.

It is that ‘gap’ between input and output that causes this.

We call that gap conscience itself.

And it manifests itself in everything we do. It’s the very thing that distinguishes us from the rest of the animal kingdom, and ironically, it is the greatest burden we carry. Although present in other species’ hierarchies in the form of status and dominance, the level to which it has evolved in humans is uncanny.

Almost everything we do requires some form of thinking, reflection, and wielding of our conscience. For every input we’ve created, there is an unlimited number of possible outputs.

Happiness or Pleasure?

Considering all of this, it is a miracle in itself that we are able to be joyful, and should come as more of a surprise than anything else.

There is no longer one solution to each problem. We are instead forced to rely on this consciousness of ours to pick the best option at every corner. It is then a burden, for it is up to us to refine what the right choice and the wrong choice is.

And if that wasn’t enough, we must have the strength to pick right over wrong every time.

But what’s the alternative?

The delegation of virtue and responsibility.

The easy way out.

Pleasure. Instant gratification. Degeneracy.

We indoctrinate ourselves into the belief that we can get away with ignoring this ‘burden’. We grow unhappy, resentful, and deceitful and curse life itself for making us so painfully aware.

It’s why people drink till they’re drunk, why they overdose, and why ultimately they may kill themselves; all to escape.

But it is all an act of hate. Hate at the fact we carry this weight on our shoulders at every step we take.

Now let me ask you something.

If it is then hate, that makes us so brutally miserable, could it not be that it is love that makes us whole?

But to love it takes sacrifice.

To love means to be exceptionally aware of the tragedy of our existence, and still choose to be good.

To love, you must hold no resent for your or others’ existence and you therefore have to accept the expansive burden of consciousness we have been gifted.

But how do you that?

You keep in mind that burden and freedom are two sides of the same coin.

Stoicism

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

I thought it arrogant to preach about freedom and joy, coming from a very privileged life. So I present you the words of a man who has witnessed his own family’s death, and suffered injustice and misery like no other.

Viktor Frankyl was a concentration camp survivor who despite or maybe just because of everything he’s witnessed, he’s learnt the valuable lesson he shares with us in the aforementioned quote:

The consciousness we possess, is in fact what allows us to unshackle ourselves from the external factors which we often let govern our way of living & hence our happiness. Everything can be taken away from us.

Except that.

This way of thinking, this philosophy, is the essence of Stoicism; focusing on things that are in your control.

And it’s this very philosophy that can guide you to a life of true meaning

Viktor Frankyl did it; in one of the most inhumane places on Earth. You can too.

How To Be Truly Happy

Now that we have established where unhappiness stems from, you can appreciate how it is consequential; a result of deep loathing for existence, resent towards our conscience, and the refusal of morality.

It’s simple really, the more you hate the structure of existence, the less you’ll appreciate everything around you.

The more you resent your conscience, the more enslaved you will be to any external factors.

The more you refuse your moral duties, the more disconnected you will feel from a sense of purpose and belonging.

Happiness, then, is not a fleeting emotion or the result of mere indulgence, but a state deeply tied to harmony—harmony with existence, with your own conscience, and with the ethical framework that binds us to others.

To be truly happy, you must shift the focus: from resentment to gratitude, from loathing to love, and from refusal to responsibility.

And how do you that?

You seek purpose.

You uncover your reason for being—a guiding truth to make sense of it all.

You define and commit to the principles that align with your values and aspirations.

You make your actions a function of this purpose, keeping you coherent and intentional.

You will find that it won’t be easy—because it takes strength to be good. And that’s precisely why it matters.

There would be no virtue in excellence if it didn’t demand effort and perseverance.

Choose to embrace a life well-lived, guided by purpose, anchored in gratitude, and built upon the courage to pick right over wrong every single time.

And the reward?

True happiness.

Earn it.

Be extraordinary.